he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
