Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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