Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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