Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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