sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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