flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
