he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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