How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Oh god it's open bar.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
