he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
