Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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