party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
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Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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