Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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