so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
