My friends, they love my intelligence
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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