He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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