glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
