singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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