and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize