____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
