Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
