you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
