I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
