You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
