Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
