i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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