hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
