You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
