What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
