I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if i can run in heels then i can drive
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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