ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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