remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
