After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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