how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
