If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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