yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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