My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
