i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she peed on how many people?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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