the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
