yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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