It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
