Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
