I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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