its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
