really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
