you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
