everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
