Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
