i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
