I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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