he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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