You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
