O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
