I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
