hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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