Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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