I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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