is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
