Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
